No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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