I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Randomize
