hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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