It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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