Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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