Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
