Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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