You can't special order awesome
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
