Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize