There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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