I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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