Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
