(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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