I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
