if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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