I have demons in me.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Randomize
