i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.