weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.