you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn