I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize