Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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