Dual....:-)
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize