I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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