JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
