My brain says no but my pants say off.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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