everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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