I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
