is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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