Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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