i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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