I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
