no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize