you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Randomize