At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
