Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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