Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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