someone threw a dead crab at me
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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