i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
