I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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