I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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