Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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