Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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