Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
