Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
