I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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