Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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