Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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