this boner is exhausting
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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