She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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