i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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