this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Green mimosas i think yes
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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