Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
