sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
