i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You may now shotgun with the bride
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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