I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
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No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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