he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
