he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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