i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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